Edge of Never

via Daily Prompt: Precipice

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Clutching arm to arm

I promise a stunning view

and reassuring every foot fall

our confidence renews

 

But the trail is tortuously changed

Or my memory of it so

weathered over time

I know not which way to go

 

My promise of the edge of forever

Gives way to the edge of never

Precipice

Risk of falling inevitable

 

 

 

 

Mother’s Day

My child face rests upon your lap

Fingers threading knotted hair

Innocence gently reassures

Gentle mother, be always there
Yet, you are but a half of me

And despite pride of pedigree

I travel far from your ever warm
And as a seed lost to the breeze

The years they pass with illusory ease

Thoughts of return lessen still

Knowing true I never will

Of betrayal

Sometimes in sleep

Twisting in restless heat, I unfurl

The stitches separate and detritus foams

Metal filaments from the knife glistening in the dawn light

Mixed in warm crimson damp

 

I am only part healed

your rusted blade still sharp

This cruel sport of blood letting

Yet

my fingerprints with yours as we grasped the weapon

 

 

 

 

 

I fell….

I have been meaning to write for a very long time. Words of encouragement from a teacher in my youth had me second guessing my chosen vocation in health care even. “You should consider journalism, really!” Wouldn’t that be something to write for a living I thought. When you have a mind that never stops playing with words it did seem the obvious choice.

But instead, I chose a “sensible” career that has served me well. And my words became background whispers that have comforted me through decades, fuelling an imagination without limits. But the time has come to write now. You see, first I fell (my heart, most dramatically). Love offered, to arms open then withdrawn in fast order. Devastated. For a moment in time.

Then I fell again. On a clear winter’s evening when I didn’t see the iced treachery underfoot. My head striking the ground with cold force, setting into play a cascade of physical symptoms. As if destiny, shouting with fury into my ear “I will strike you now as you must be truly awake from this day on.”  Crippling anxiety visited for a short time, then it was gone with the spring. Like a crow resting momentarily on the rail with it’s dark glare. Then jump, glide and away.

Once you experience true fear it redefines your perspective. I’m no longer scared of those things that made my heart race in the past. I’m learning to breathe deeply, live more in the moment and challenge myself. Nothing rushed, as a wandering armadillo stepping to and fro. Shield intact though, as falling is a peril for one such as I.

If this becomes a ponderous journal, so be it. A compendium of poems and my own photography would be more what I have in mind. A mid life thought journey even. It’s time to live, to revel in the music, to sing at a moment’s notice – to write and read voraciously. To explore my deep as I float through landscapes. Carried along by my words, though my mind, on foot and by motorcycle.

No land end, no borders.

I am the "little armored one", moving gently through life. Hoping to safeguard my sensitivities with layers of words and the expression of thought. Shielding my mirror neurons at times, or tasting music and spinning till I'm dizzy. Every moment here is a gift.