I fell….

I have been meaning to write for a very long time. Words of encouragement from a teacher in my youth had me second guessing my chosen vocation in health care even. “You should consider journalism, really!” Wouldn’t that be something to write for a living I thought. When you have a mind that never stops playing with words it did seem the obvious choice.

But instead, I chose a “sensible” career that has served me well. And my words became background whispers that have comforted me through decades, fuelling an imagination without limits. But the time has come to write now. You see, first I fell (my heart, most dramatically). Love offered, to arms open then withdrawn in fast order. Devastated. For a moment in time.

Then I fell again. On a clear winter’s evening when I didn’t see the iced treachery underfoot. My head striking the ground with cold force, setting into play a cascade of physical symptoms. As if destiny, shouting with fury into my ear “I will strike you now as you must be truly awake from this day on.”  Crippling anxiety visited for a short time, then it was gone with the spring. Like a crow resting momentarily on the rail with it’s dark glare. Then jump, glide and away.

Once you experience true fear it redefines your perspective. I’m no longer scared of those things that made my heart race in the past. I’m learning to breathe deeply, live more in the moment and challenge myself. Nothing rushed, as a wandering armadillo stepping to and fro. Shield intact though, as falling is a peril for one such as I.

If this becomes a ponderous journal, so be it. A compendium of poems and my own photography would be more what I have in mind. A mid life thought journey even. It’s time to live, to revel in the music, to sing at a moment’s notice – to write and read voraciously. To explore my deep as I float through landscapes. Carried along by my words, though my mind, on foot and by motorcycle.

No land end, no borders.

15 thoughts on “I fell….”

  1. “Once you experience true fear it redefines your perspective. I’m no longer scared of those things that made my heart race in the past.”
    ~ After learning she had lung cancer, my dear friend Angela told me that she was no longer afraid of the dark.

    All the best with your writing and blog journey.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Goodness, I can’t believe I have landed upon your writings within two days of discovering this community. It took me precisely a posting and a half to realize I must follow you!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It is high time you started writing 🙂 I need my daily dose of your words now that I have experienced it. ❤ I am so relieved you survived that fall. I sounds like it was a serious fall </3 I was run over by a car last september. It challenged my perspectives too.*sigh of relief* Thankful to be alive!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are completely precious! Thank you for your concern. All healed, and even back to running again – voila, dizziness gone!
      It is wonderful to be writing…yet strangely, since our international tête à tête, I’ve been satiated by reading you voraciously. Now there’s a word hey?!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Good morning bright light 🙂 – though I guess that would be good night to you 😉
        I am glad you are all back up and running. Our international tête-à-tête ❤ I cherish that phrase 🙂 Reading you has become a new treat of mine too, exquisite words of yours!

        Liked by 2 people

      1. How sweet! Yep, my child self never liked/understood them! Then, last year, someone shared a funny meme on Facebook about them, just when i was thinking of starting my blog. Name dilemma solved haha.

        Like

  3. I feel inclined to read your blog from start to finish+, afraid I’m missing out. I didn’t know you worked in healthcare. What do you do? Anyway, glad you chose to heed your mentor’s advice and provide a place for wordplay:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Such a compliment; I’m so thrilled you choose to read me! People have busy lives … your comments are a privilege 😌
      I’m an ultrasound technologist. I have an amazing job; interacting with diverse and unique people. No two days are the same.
      Are you in the field too?
      Thankful for your words…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That must be wonderful to feel so fulfilled by work that offers constant stimulation. No, I don’t work in healthcare, though I apprenticed with an acupuncturist for a year. I still enjoying about the five-element theory and Traditional Chinese Medicine. I would however like to become a homebirth midwife, but will not consider starting on that path until my babies are older. I read everything I can find about midwifery though:)

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s